STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
