Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
