everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
