yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
