Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
