Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I pour the whiskey from now on
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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