so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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