I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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