I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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