so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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