Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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