Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
