Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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