He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
