I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
