would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I've blown a few things in my day
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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