please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
