I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
