420 ftw
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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