is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
