btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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