plz talk dirty to me
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think your dad took our porno
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
