Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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