So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize