I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
