Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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