I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
