no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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