I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's just like the Real World with babies
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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