Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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