While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
