What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
