Small penises have feelings too.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
