Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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