I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
