Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
