He is such a slut. More and more my type.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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