Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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