Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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