Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize