Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
