Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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