Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
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What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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