i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
