Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
