I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
