he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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