I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
