Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
