This is not my ceiling
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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