You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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