your thong is hanging out like whoa
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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