Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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