hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
