I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
