wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
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We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
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Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.