She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.