Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing

(719): View more from Colorado

The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?

(303): View more from Colorado

Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner

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(303): Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing (719): The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors? (303 ): Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner http://tfl.nu/juf5

Replies (13) Good night (2672) Bad night (848)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.

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(321): On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/bm31

Replies (9) Good night (4266) Bad night (662)
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(530): View more from California

It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan

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(530): It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan http://tfl.nu/v151

Replies (29) Good night (5250) Bad night (1055)
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(940): View more from Texas

I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl

(1-940): View more from Texas

you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.

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(940): I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl (1-940): you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent. http://tfl.nu/wzvk

Replies (47) Good night (2355) Bad night (6229)
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(847): View more from Illinois

what did you hear about me?

(630): View more from Illinois

that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around

(630): View more from Illinois

that was hard to say and not laugh

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(847): what did you hear about me? (630): that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around (630): that was hard to say and not laugh http://tfl.nu/dwdl

Replies (13) Good night (4726) Bad night (1069)
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(210): View more from Texas

i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation

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(210): i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation http://tfl.nu/369m

Replies (13) Good night (4991) Bad night (1785)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.

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(815): Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/6hnz

Replies (12) Good night (3214) Bad night (843)
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(845): View more from New York

finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!

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(845): finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted! http://tfl.nu/7ysb

Replies (6) Good night (1884) Bad night (544)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

Are you high right now?

(1-228): View more from Mississippi

is that a question or a drake reference?

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(228): Are you high right now? (1-228): is that a question or a drake reference? http://tfl.nu/72z8

Replies (5) Good night (1867) Bad night (766)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.

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(910): I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex. http://tfl.nu/1bgl

Replies (8) Good night (1926) Bad night (584)
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(904): View more from Florida

Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.

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(904): Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake. http://tfl.nu/mh4i

Replies (10) Good night (827) Bad night (1045)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.

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(479): I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap. http://tfl.nu/23la

Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (504)
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(515): View more from Iowa

you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account

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(515): you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account http://tfl.nu/u05o

Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (556)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that

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(301): I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that http://tfl.nu/4t9g

Replies (2) Good night (288) Bad night (380)
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(660): View more from Missouri

So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?

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(660): So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that? http://tfl.nu/jwyz

Replies (1) Good night (307) Bad night (128)

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