This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize