Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?