Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath