A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
