i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My nipple is on Facebook.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
