I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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