wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
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Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
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I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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