$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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