how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
