So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
