We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
