i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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